SHIREKEEP, SHIREROTH — Two days of rigorous debate have led to Shireroth’s Second Best Old Boy, Scott of Hyperborea, to collapse into complete despair regarding the failure of his nation to do anything right. Before describing the forums, flag, legal system and House system as “embarrasingly bad” and “thrown together piecemeal over ten years”, he ranted about the state of the nation and its history, describing it as “something pretty bad for [...] ten years with no hope of ever fixing it.”
With the flight of Ryan Caruso, Third Best Old Boy of the OBC, quirky shit stirrer Jacobus Loki has led the proposed exodus from what he called a “ruination”. In terms worthy of the title of this article, Jacobus said that the Imperial government had come to stand for “suck-ation” and complained that “[f]un and creativity are being driven out”. He described the leader of the nation, Kaiseress Anadndandjadadnajj II, as a “tyrannical quasi-jerk”. He summed up thus: “All in all, it sucks.”
When asked what he thought of Shireroth’s future, Scott had this to say.
MY EYES! THEY BURN!
And after that, basically everyone said they’re gonna leave.
- Resident emo-that-isn’t-Corey Daniel Farewell was the first to sign up to the leaver’s package
- Quickly followed by CAPSLOCK FAGGOT Icebreaker*
- And then came the big dog, Harvey “Argument” Steffke, to shake things up and insult a few people
No offense, but this was the logical conclusion of your (well, not exclusively your, but you sure seem to encourage it) campaign to make micronations less about politics and more about everyone getting to know eachother. You say “troll,” I say “personality conflict.” Turns out not everyone wants to hold hands and sing campfire songs when they are forced to deal with everyone’s weird quirks.
Nick’s language project was a farce anyway. It was obvious from day 1 that guy wasn’t going to deliver. I’m currently in the process of trying to hijack and publically nationalize the idea so, if you want to get involved in work on the language, now is a pretty good time to be collecting your thoughts on the concept.
The writer of this article would like to be the first to say to that, “Screw that noise.”
Random EAT DA POO POO advocate CJ Miller then wandered into the discussion to say something trollish, but not funny, so one wonders what’s the point. I mean at least when Aster does it it’s funny. And there were the glory days of micronational trolls, back at the MNN, oh what glorious days, I remember we used to line up 6 at a time just to get our threads fisked by Graius. Fortunately, the next post Miller made was totally ignored, the best way to deal with n00bish trolls.
Erik, glorious founder and eternal Kaiser, then was allowed to say his piece. Ellipses and ALL CAPS abound, it was a rousing and pleasing discourse, although I don’t remember what on earth he said. Somewhat incohesive, somewhat incoherent, but on the plus side it did end with a kiwi silhouette emoticon.
To conclude, Harvey mourned the fact that SHIREROTH HAS BEEN AROUND SO LONG AND OH THE RAVAGES OF AGE, said, “Man I am sick of it,” and promptly shot himself in the head. A small crowd that had been gathering since his unlikely return to micronations over a year ago cheered. Scott ended the debate with a closing statement which really summed up the feelings of Shirerithians and OBC ex-pats everywhere:
I don’t see anything perfect [about Shireroth], and I’d like to have at least one perfect thing [...] [like] Antica
* ICEBREAKER by the way did actually do something hilarious recently which deserves some attention. Basically the bureaucrats told him he couldn’t maintain his own “House” (yeah I cba to explain that) so instead of arguing or anything he simply registered and immigrated a new papel called Flowergirl, whose avatar was described by general malcontent Ardashir Khan as “eye-rippingly terrifying”.