SHIREKEEP, SHIREROTH — In a vehement verbal vent, prominent Shirerithian Old Boy Club member Scott of Hyperborea has publically declared his disgust at the Imperial Republic.
Describing himself as “embarrassed to be a Shirerithian”, the Duke of Straylight went on to allegorically compare Shireroth to a person that “[weighs] 500 lbs, never shower[s], and burp[s] all the time”. Ranting about the nation he considers “a hideous abomination”, the question he posed was:
When we’re browsing Shireroth ourself, is it always in a state of half-cringe at how awful a lot of the country is, or is it with our head held high?
This was of course a rhetorical question, and the author implied the former was his personal experience of Micras’ most senior decadent hegemony: “…any casual observer will come away certain that Shireroth is a bunch of idiotic Warcraft-worshipping teenagers.”
Scott then made a brief comment about where he believed the micronational everyman will apply for citizenship, or which nation they would allow to annex theirs, an affirmation of the common Shirerithian imperialist mindset. In a desperate attempt to publically switch allegiance from the Kaiser to Our Glorious Republic, he commented that if he was a new micronationalist “[he]‘d join… Antica, and not Shireroth.”
As a nod to the Old Boys Faction of the Shirerithian community, Scott went off on one about “what it was like back in the old days”, the paragraphs following which this reporter must apologise for not being able to comment on because he was sent to sleep by one o’ Grandpa’s stories. Certain hackneyed phrases did however filter through into the reporter’s subconscious and they are here reproduced: “My proudest achievement in this country… a new era of micronationalism… Shireroth is a worthy ally… our country is permanently crippled.”
This reporter was abruptly woken when Scott came out with “If I were God-Emperor” but got bored again when he realised all he intended on doing with such powers would be change the flag and forum colours. He finally ended his tl;dr-worthy discourse with the reflection that “we [Shireroth] are a country of twelve year olds; not because we have a twelve year old’s graphic skills, but because we have twelve year olds’ emotional maturity.” Yes?
Responses to the rant have been tentative and neither extremely favourable nor as sour as one would expect. However, Interior Minister Ari Rahikkala did point out something quite interesting.
I’m not sure I appreciate you seeming to consider Commonwealth membership to be Shireroth annexation lite…
Indeed! Please, Scott, keep that sort of stuff confined to the secrecy of the Secret Evil Plans forum, if for no reason other than out of respect of the sensibilities of this entirely pro-Shireroth publication.